2011 - The Year of Fearlessness
by Jodie Bentley
Happy New Year Savvy Actors! Ah… another year is upon us. A time of resetting our goals, creating our resolutions, and making change in our lives. But how do we keep our commitments for more than a week or a month? By not ignoring the biggest stumbling block – fear. This year needs to be dubbed the Year of Fearlessness.
A lot of you know that I’m a breast cancer survivor. I was the first one in my family to ever get it, for no rhyme or reason. Sometimes life intrudes and we have to make room for it. Back in December 2008 it intruded full force.
Right before this past Thanksgiving, at one of my regular follow up appointments they found something in the same breast again. My team agreed that it was necessary to get a biopsy. I was floored and my tears were uncontrollable. I was able to wrangle an appointment just five days later. Those first 48 hours were probably the hardest of my life. Me, who is always positive, couldn’t stop obsessing and imagining the worst. And I knew what I would have to go through a second time if the cancer indeed had come back. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.
I was worried how people would view me if I had a recurrence. Would my agents be as amazing the second time around? Would my clients wonder why I wasn't auditioning? How would my body look? Would I lose my hair this time? I couldn't get my brain to live in the present. I was stuck in the anxiety and fear of the unknown.
At one point it hit me, and I realized that this was how my life was going to be. I am still young. My doctors are going to be overly cautious for me. They may see things and they will do every test necessary to make sure I stay healthy. They are part of my support system. They are there for me. I could spend my entire life anticipating the worst if I wanted to, but I realized it’s my choice. Why worry about the unknown? I decided not to.
I tried my best to live in the moment. I dived into teaching our weekend intensive, and I spent more time with my husband during those five days before the biopsy than we had all month. I forced myself into the present. For a ‘type A’ Virgo like me it was hard! But it gave me peace.
Do you burden yourself, worrying what might be? Worrying about the audition, the meeting, what a casting director thinks, how a callback went… whatever. Make 2011 the Year of Fearlessness! I challenge you to live more fully in the present. Have specific goals, think forward and visualize, yes! But once you create your plan, be persistently alive today. That’s fearlessness. Live each day being open to your plan – that’s fearlessness. That’s how to create real change. It’s a choice.
My biopsy turned out fine and I’m thrilled to say that I am clean and clear for the past two years and counting!
My declaration to you is that I am not afraid of the future. Not about my cancer, my next SAG national commercial, my audition for a series regular on a sitcom. In 2011, I relinquish all my fear.
Right now, in this moment, who’s with me?
